Two hearts are breaking here tonight
by elinsa
Summary: I slowly untangled my fingers from his soft hair and let my arms fall limply to my sides. My heart was breaking all of a sudden./ How could you experience total bliss and devastating heartbreak at the same time? Auslly. Oneshot.


**Two hearts are breaking here tonight**

I felt my most precious possession slowly slip out of my grasp. I was so frustrated that I didn't really care. That is, until I watched the leather bound book hit the wall with a thud and fall to the floor. It landed in a way that got the pages all crinkled up.

A high-pitched "Oh no!" slipped out from behind my lips and I bolted up from the piano bench and reached the book in a few seconds. _Why did I do that?_ That got me even more frustrated. I could almost stretch it as far as to say that I was angry. I was _never_ angry. Why am I angry, you ask? Well, it's because I'm sad, really. _Ugh, I can't explain it._ It's because of him. It's his fault for making me fall. _That jerk. _I don't want to leave him. Why did my dad have to go and screw everything up?

The thing that happened next was something that I had dreaded the whole day. There was a knock on the door that lead to the practice room where I was currently standing and obsessively trying to flatten out the fragile papers that my songbook consisted of. I didn't make a sound. The door opened anyway though.

The magnificent head of blonde hair I have rested my eyes on for almost everyday the past year and a half, and the person that said hair belonged to stood in the doorway. _Crap. This is even worse. Does this mean I have to tell him? Now? I haven't prepared for this. I need to prepare for this._ The minute I laid my eyes on him I could feel my resolve breaking and that familiar prickling behind my eyes hung over me like a threat. _Don't cry_, I tried to tell myself. To make things worse he had a concerned expression on his face. That means he knows something is up. _I'm gonna have to tell him._ This would be so much easier if it were Dez that walked in the door. At least I haven't been walking around pining after Dez for the last weeks. _I don't want to do this._

"Oh, hey Austin I thought you were my dad," I said in a small voice, trying to avoid eye contact.

"Nope, just me. S'up?" He says in his usual, chipper voice, although I could tell from the minute he walked in that he knew something was up. He seemed uncomfortable. How he knew though? Beats me.

"Nothing really," I tried to sound casual and took a seat at the piano to occupy my nervous hands with something other than pulling a chunk of hair to my mouth.

"Okay, well there's something I wanted to talk to you about but I kind of don't know how to say it." He said this while striding over to me and taking a seat right next to me. He was so close. Our shoulders were pressed together.

"Austin, I think I know what you're getting at and to be honest I'm kind of glad you figured it out. That means I don't have to break the news." To be honest I did feel relieved. He's taking it a lot better than I was expecting though, considering last time this happened. In a weird way that hurt me, I thought he would be at least a little bit upset.

"Oh, you know already?" He asked timidly, looking down at his hands resting at the keys of the piano while an adorable blush rose on his cheeks. This had me confused. _Are we not talking about the same thing here? Of course I know, stupid._

"Before you say anything," he continued. "I want to say it, I've kind of prepared something… You know how bad I am with words."

"Uhm… Sure," I said uncertainly while I watched him getting comfortable by my side at the piano. He shot me one last nervous look and cleared his throat. His fingers started dancing over the keys and I recognized the music at once. It brought a sad smile to my lips. Then he started singing.

_You're always on my mind_

_I think about you all the time_

He skipped right to the chorus after that. Only, he had changed it up so it had an entirely different meaning from the original song I wrote for him.

_I love the things you do_

_It's how you do the things you love_

_I love the way you get me_

_But correct me if I'm wrong_

_This is a really bad love song_

_But it's a love song_

During the two last lines he locked his eyes with mine. They were so intense, but at the same time very uncertain and regarding, that I had the urge to look away, but I couldn't. No, he looked so breathtaking in that moment that it would physically hurt me to _not _look at him. His beautifully brown eyes spoke volumes. I couldn't move as the meaning of what he just told me through the song and what his eyes were telling me registered. He was still looking me straight in the eye and I could feel him coming closer. And closer. Slowly. So excruciatingly slow. With our noses one inch apart he broke eye contact and his eyes roamed my face for a few seconds before they settled in on staring at my lips. No air left or entered my lungs. I was frozen. _Is this really going to happen? _Half an inch closer. I could feel Austin's warm breath skim my lips lightly. It made my tongue flick out and retreat quickly. Then my eyes fluttered close and a second later his perfectly smooth lips met mine.

Clouds. Pickles. Geese. My songbook. These were the pictures that flew around my head for a second. All that was good in the world came to mind. These were my favorite things and yet, they completely paled in comparison to what I was feeling right now. The pictures washed away and all I could see and feel was Austin. This was heaven. Screw the fireworks, this was something else entirely. The kiss was soft and slow. So full of emotion. I got eager. I wanted more, so I opened my mouth slightly. He took the chance to let his tongue enter my mouth. _Wow_. I was floating aimlessly in space, surrounded by stars. I never wanted it to end.

My subconscious is what brought me back to earth._ Reality check Ally_, she scolded me. _Right. _When I started to pull away I realized my hands had somehow found their way to Austin's hair. They were all tangled up and gripping it tightly. I wasn't ready to let go yet. I unwillingly moved my lips from his and looked him deep in his achingly beautiful eyes. I let my hands stay in his hair. That sad smile from before, when he started playing the song, reentered my lips.

_Just do it Ally._ _Okay, deep breath. Here goes nothing_. I slowly untangled my fingers from his soft hair and let my arms fall limply to my sides. My heart was breaking all of a sudden.

"I'm leaving, Austin"

Silence.

"And you call me rude? I know I eat in the store and talk with food in my mouth at times but, Ally, leaving when you just shared an awesome first kiss with someone?! I think that's considered bad manners." He said in a lecturing tone, with a hidden look of hurt behind his eyes.

"No, Austin! Listen to me. I'm _leaving_. For real this time." When I said this I could se how something really clicked behind his eyes. I couldn't hold in the tears anymore. Not now. Not when I knew how he really felt. The frustration and anger from earlier had sometime under my encounter with Austin gotten replaced with an overwhelming sadness.

"Like, _leaving _leaving?"

I didn't trust my voice so I just nodded and kept letting the tears fall silently down my face.

"No, Ally. You can't." He sounded so heartbroken, it broke my own heart all over again.

"I have to. It's not my choice this time, Austin."

"But-. Ally… I-I love you" The feelings those words brought on are hard to describe. It's like nothing I've ever experienced before. My broken heart swelled, it filled up with joy. I felt light like a feather. A feather floating on a cloud. Then the rock made its presence known. A rock, or maybe a mountain, rooted in my stomach and refused to give way, blocking the way of the cloud with the feather that rested upon it. It made my heart twist in an excruciating way. How could you experience total bliss and devastating heartbreak at the same time? I couldn't take it. I had to get out. Get out before I drowned in my own emotions. _Hey, you might get a nice song off of this_, my subconscious mused. That thought made me so mad. How could I think something like that in a time like this? My body stopped responding to my brain signals. All my emotions crashed together in a threatening whirlwind. I tried to take a step toward Austin. I wanted him to know that I loved him as well. My body refused though. It was shutting down. My legs gave way beneath me and my knees hit the floor with a loud crack, the pain making a bright lightning appear in front of my eyes. Austin rushed to my side and joined me on the floor. I clung to him for dear life. _I can't leave him. I can't._

The tears running down my cheeks were no longer silent.

* * *

**Hello. Thanks for reading. I'm too old for this, really. Haven't been on here for two years I think. No ones too old to write but you know, writing about a disneychannel show... Yeah, way too old for that. But, eeh, who cares right?! I'm not sure about this story. About my own opinion that is, so please tell me what you think. Maybe it's a bit messy, I don't know. I left some stuff out for your imagination but if you're wondering about something, please don't hesitate to ask. And, I just want to say that I consider myself kinda good at english, however, it isn't my first language and I have barely used it at all for the last two years so please let me know if I'm doing something horribly wrong. Key, thanks!**


End file.
